Today was ‘that day’. It was rough but beautiful. In the morning, I had a gal challenge my compassion and patience. Then there were some technical glitches at the studio, followed by a very long meeting.
After the meeting, I went to get my allergy shot like I do every month. This month I was starting a new vial since my old one had expired. Shortly after the shot, my throat started to itch… ears burn and hives began to cover my body. A few short minutes later, my whole body is on fire and I’m wheezing. I went back to see the doctor; and they took me in immediately. I had taken two Benadryl and my inhaler by the time she prescribed a steroid to take away the reaction. At this point, I can’t really breathe – most of my usual calming techniques use the breath – which in this moment gives me anxiety. Yes, I am in a safe place with medicine and medical professionals to take care of me. However, if I wasn’t, I would be looking death in the eyes right now, negotiating.
Eventually, the steroid came through! I was dizzy for the rest of the night, but that is a small price to pay. In those moments when I couldn’t breathe and it hurt my throat to breathe, I realized something. Your life isn’t truly yours. No one or deity owes you anything. Your life is a gift. My belief is that it is a gift from God; each and every day. It is a gift to you and a gift to the people in your life. It can be taken in a blink of an eye. I’m thankful for my asthma, allergies, and eczema because it keeps me humble and thankful.
A man is talking to an acquaintance. He can see the pain on her face. When he passes her her purse, he notices something odd — It’s heavy. Later, he finds a gun and pulls it out. The man is grieving a dear friend at the time. With aggression, he says to her “Your life is not yours to take. It is for everyone in your life. So keep your hands off of it.” The man throws the gun into a river where it sinks. Recognize this story? Watch Sherlock Holmes, season four, episode three.
Sometimes people take their own life; some die of illness, accidents, and old age. One thing is certain, it will reach all of us on this earth one day. So until then be humble, be thankful, be joyous. “But how Breanna?!” Well, perhaps you have heard of this concept of heaven on earth. You can see it. Even through my rough day, I can see it. That challenging gal is making me stronger and forcing me to grow. That technical difficulty is improving the way Breeze operates. The long meeting is actually a really exciting Opportunity that feels like a dream right now. The attack? Well, it brought me back to the present moment where tonight I sit and rest with the fireplace on and my boyfriend playing guitar – my dog on my lap. Now that is heaven on earth: mesmerizing fire dancing for me, music that fills my heart with joy and my head with inspiration, unconditional love from my dog. How is that not heaven on earth?! These moments exist in your life – where for a second there is peace; for a second there is joy. Hold on to those moments no matter how small. The more you think of them, the more often they will happen. One moment at a time, you got this!
“Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave
without leaving a piece of youth
and our lives are forever changed
We will never be the same”
-Tonight by smashing pumpkins
Cherish the great gift of life. Make it the best you can. Love the struggle and love the joy.
Now go take on the day!